Catch Me

Jack discovered again the other day that he can fit into our kitchen cabinets.  Of course he has to relocate the lot of pots and pans first, as well as the wok and crock pot, and they usually all end up scattered around the kitchen floor.  We don't use anything from that cabinet anymore without thoroughly washing it right before.  Still, he was so proud of himself, as were we, and I of course took pictures and even some video of a "Where's Jack-Bo?" game.  His discovery was a moment of realization for him that the cabinet had more than one purpose.  Sure, it could be a practical place to hold the pans, but it was also a great place to hide and be silly!

Jack is making new discoveries every day, and I love seeing his face when he does something clever, especially b/c he knows he is clever.  I suppose it is a combination of being clever and testing his boundaries, but we try to give him a good bit of freedom so that he can explore the world around him with a "no fear" sort of mantra.  He likes to climb, so we let him climb pretty much anything except for the coffee and kitchen tables.  He likes to jump, so we give him lots of opportunities to jump off of different surfaces and plenty of bed-bouncing time.  He likes to destroy things, so we have "stations" set up in our home that are specifically designed to be safe for him to just completely obliterate.  Okay, well that last description was a little extreme, but really, we do have a "drawer of random stuff" that he goes through and empties several times a day as well as a few other Destructo Dan-proof zones.  We haven't quite gotten to the lesson of picking up after oneself.

I love his "catch me" smile.  It comes with his head tilted slightly down and his wide, sparkling eyes looking slightly up.  His lips are closed and they form an almost straight line across his cherub face, yet the corners are turned up just a tad.  It is impish, mischievous, and angelic all wrapped up into one magical expression of up to no good.  Today he used his time-out chair to climb on top of a filing cabinet to get candy out of a bowl.  We told him to get down, that he could not have any candy right now.  He proceeded to get the candy.  We removed him from the chair and took away the candy.  He threw a bit of a tantrum, a fake one actually, and then went right back towards the time-out chair.  "Jack, do not stand up in that chair.  If you stand up in that chair again, Mommy will have to fasten you into it for time-out.  You may sit in that chair, but do not stand in that chair."  Jack stands in lots of chairs.  We do not have a no standing in chairs rule.  It just so happens that this particular chair is for time-out and is equipped with a booster seat and lap buckle.  He hates this chair.  He has absolutely no desire to sit in this chair voluntarily, but today he is using the chair as candy-reaching tool.  We watch him as he climbs into the chair again, but this time he turns around and then settles his bottom into the grooves of the seat, all the while staring at us with that little catch me smile.  He kicks his dangling feet and rubs his hands along the "arms" of the booster.  He doesn't stand up again...this time.

I don't ever want him to lose his feisty spirit.  I want him to question the world, question authority, question everything about which he wonders, but I still want him to follow directions, obey the rules and be respectful.  It is such a challenge to raise a child without breaking him, to teach him right from wrong while allowing him his own interpretations of just that.  It seems like as parents we just have to teach our kids to follow the leader, stay in line, and don't rock the boat when what we really want them to learn is independence, perseverance and how to be socially adept.  

Well Jack, your mama is a boat rocker.  I don't always follow the leader, and I tend to break out of conformity, but I still want to be an accepted member of society.  It is a fine line to walk, thought provoking at the very least, between staying true to myself and wanting to fit in.  I hope my son is able to find a comfortable balance in his life to do both.

And this leads me back to Jack's cabinet adventures.  Someday he is going to try to close himself in a locker and some coach is going to tell him to knock it off and get his equipment stowed.  The practical side will battle the silly side of life and win time and time again.  So right now, today, in this stage of his life, I am not going to put up that fight.  I am not going to crush his spirit or stifle his imagination.  Instead I am going to watch his self-discovery evolve and let him answer [some of] his own questions through trial and error; I am going to let him have fun, let him be a child!  They grow up so fast anyway!  Why rush it?

And maybe next time, I will try to squeeze into that cabinet with him.