American Idol-ology

This week on American Idol, the contestants were singing songs that were released in the year they were born.  I can't believe how old I am.  I can't believe that 9 seasons before this one I was 21/22 years old and living a life I can hardly even remember now.  But I do remember watching Kelly and Justin battle it out, and I do remember Kelly Clarkson winning and crying during her epic victory performance of "A Moment Like This."  I can recall her outfit, the burgundy fitted top and jeans, her hair, big loopy curls, the confetti, pouring down onto the stage, and her cracking voice as she sang with overwhelming emotion one last time on the show as THE American Idol.  It is a classic memory to me.

I watched much of the season from my apartment where I lived with my then boyfriend.  My nephew Ethan was a nursing infant, and my sister, living one street over, often visited during the show and watched it with me while I got to be a doting aunt.  It seems I have blocked out the memory of said boyfriend, as I have no recollection of where he was during these episodes.

The thing that is so wild to me is I still remember conversations between myself and my sister, specific things we said as we critiqued and made our predictions about Kelly Clarkson.  It is just so crazy that this show was burned into my memory bank so vividly during such a blurry time in my life.  I mean in all seriousness, I was living in a whirlwind of instability.  My relationship was in shambles, my finances were a mess, my career was non-existent, I was in between deciding about school, my friendships were mostly phony, and my family connections were strained.  I just wasn't in a personal place of peace.

Now here I am 10 years later.  I am married to my hero, I have the most amazing blessing of my son, I am super close with my family, my finances are at least organized, I've found true friendships, I work in a positive environment and I have dreams I can realistically envision coming true.  It is just remarkable to me how much has changed over time.

And American Idol has fresh faces and an evolving attitude.  They have certainly improved the audition process since my experiences (yes, I tried out twice) in season 2 and 3(or was it 4?), creating an additional money making opportunity with food vendors and branded merchandise for sale at the audition venues.  The new judges this year seem to be focusing on talent rather than their own egos or personality conflicts; in fact they appear to genuinely get along and respect each other while being comfortable with agreeing to disagree at times in regards to the performances.  I am enjoying the show more than ever now.  With the original, even-tempered Randy Jackson at the helm, and Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez bringing unique flavor and a double quality of sincerity, the combination of experience, professionalism, talent and entertainment all rounds out into a versatile, well balanced judging panel.  Throw in a little Ryan Seacrest super host action and you have what is shaping up to be an incredible season.  I'm hooked.

But here's the thing...if we didn't have the past 9 seasons of Simon and Paula's non-stop banter with the overabundance of insults upstaging the contestants' talent and the media frenzy surrounding their obsession with each other, we may not have an appreciation for the level of maturity that now occupies the 3 judges' chairs.  Without the years of gossip over Paula's mental state, we may not realize just how "together" J-Lo is, and without the snooty image of Simon in his plain black v-neck t-shirt, we may not enjoy the classy edge that Steven brings.  Without the absence of those 2 attention hogs, we wouldn't be able to see Randy shining now in the leadership spotlight.  There is definitely a refreshing difference this season in the output of comments to the contestants in that the critiques are constructive and tastefully honest.  Personally, I like that approach.  It isn't pussy-footing around a bad performance, but it is showing respect for for their feelings and acknowledging how far they have come to be where they are, even if they don't have the best night.

That's the thing about the past.  Pretty much everything in the past makes us value what we have in the present so much more.  I just watched the movie Kung Fu Panda for the first time a few days ago, and from it I picked up a new favorite saying:

Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift;
That's why it is called the present.

Yes, a movie about a super-hero panda bear inspired me.  It may seem silly, but I really feel that way.  I am so thankful for the life I have right now.  I am not regretful of my past; it is my history, and it has brought me to the beauty of my life today.  Without all the turmoil in my past I couldn't really appreciate the solidity and peacefulness of my present.  If I had not experienced broken heartedness and toxic relationships, perhaps I would take for granted my marriage to a loving, committed husband.  Without the years of self-destructiveness, maybe I would not understand how wonderful it feels to be safe, secure and confident.  I'm just saying that, like American Idol, I owe part of why now is so great to the events leading up to it.  Every detail of my past has contributed to my present, and what an amazing present it is. 

So I will continue watching AI.  I look forward to each week b/c the mystery of who goes home gets solved and the excitement grows!  I am super stoked about the new judges, and I know a big part of the credit for liking the new judges goes to the old judges for being so obnoxious, but I don't miss them, just like I don't miss my old life, and I am excited for tomorrow and what "present" I will have then.