Once again, I find myself extremely disturbed by something I saw today on Facebook. Social media, I love you and I hate you. I realize it is not FB's fault that people do disgusting and horribly inappropriate things, but I'm shocked that a number of people who post these things are basically decent, normal, hard-working, family oriented people, and many of them are MY friends!?!? So why are they perpetuating the madness by "sharing" and "liking" horrific photos and videos? Sharing something completely inappropriate is just ensuring it lives on, whether it be in the minds of those who see it or in the lives of those affected when it was originally happening.
I need you to use your noggins here, folks. I'm not talking about the funny Moms at Target videos, or the memes about needing wine to get through bedtime routines, or even the dry political comics about politicians caught in scandalous acts. I do not care about the Steve Harvey and Miss Universe jokes (although I do feel sorry for him b/c I believe it WAS an honest mistake) or adult celebrities critiqued for their fashion sense on the red carpet. I am not bothered in the slightest by a single cheesy "Keep Calm and Carry On" spoof.
What I AM concerned about are videos or images of CHILDREN with sexual or degrading references. I'll start with this example: I saw a video tonight of at least 20 young children ranging in age from maybe 2 to 12, each paired up, with a boy "dry humping" a girl "doggy style." The video focused in on maybe a 2 or 3YO boy with a 5 or 6YO girl and several children doing the same thing all around them. In the background, there are adults present. This is child pornography, people. This video is sexually exploiting children, regardless of the fact that they have their clothes on. I'm sure many of my friends have seen it. Sadly, many of my social media "friends" have shared, commented on or even "liked" this viral video. I'm so confused as to why we allow this to continue.
If someone posts a video or picture they created of young children acting out or posing in sexually explicit situations or while making sexual references, that person may be regarded as a "pedofile" and "pervert" receiving comments that call them out for just that. BUT...if someone SHARES that video with a post about how wrong or how terrible it is for those children, THAT person is somehow regarded as being more morally sound than the first one by expressing disapproval of the inappropriate content. I get it. The good guy wants to point out the bad guy. But doing so on a mostly public forum only perpetuates the problem by allowing more and more random people access to see those poor CHILDREN! If you are really so disgusted, report it as inappropriate content on Facebook, or send it to the police for investigation, or contact an organization that advocates for children, or just discuss with your spouse how you will talk to your own kids about sex and violence and think about how you can keep them safe. If you want your BFF to see it so you can both be horrified together, then share it privately, but don't tag them and post it on their Timeline for the world to see! Yes, yes, I know. Freedom of speech, expression, blah blah...but you don't have to show the actual video to sound off on your soapbox. (This is my soapbox, see?)
There's more...
I once saw a viral video of a young boy, maybe 8 to 10 years old in the backseat of a car, being taken to a counselor/psychologist against his will. The mother was driving, and it appeared and sounded like an older brother was taking the video from the front passenger seat and laughing. The mother even questioned if the video was going on YouTube. The little boy was screaming and yelling and flipping all around in his seat. He was completely freaking out. His mother was calm, but she was firmly telling him he was grounded and combating his resistance with comments that may be considered patronizing and/or "adding fuel to the fire." The little boy appeared desperate, highly distressed, ashamed, scared, angry, out of control, sad, lost, and certainly embarrassed. While this may not seem like it is inappropriate content b/c it is not sexual or graphic or containing obscenities, it is still capturing a CHILD in a most vulnerable circumstance in the middle of a highly sensitive situation and with little or no compassion or empathy for what anyone in the car may be going through in real life. The comments on this video were horribly cruel. Some people blamed the mother for the child's behavior saying this is how kids will turn out if spoiled or not disciplined. Others said what they would do to the boy if he were their child, like "beat his ass" or "put him down." Still, more people made comments directed at the little boy about how crazy, insane, screwed up, stupid, and "retarded" he was. I even saw a comment suggesting his mother should have aborted him. My heart broke watching this video. My heart broke at the fact that this video exists. You see, I was that little boy once. When I was a kid, my mother once tricked me into getting into the car to take me to a counselor that I was determined not to see. I'll spare you the details of why I needed to go there in the first place, but let's just say, it wasn't b/c I was spoiled or crazy or retarded, and my big sister sat in the back and tried to comfort me kindly and keep the doors locked as I lost my ever-loving mind and even tried to hold my breath and pass out so I wouldn't have to go. If you know me, you probably think I turned out alright, and if you don't know me and you are reading this, you will have to just take my word for it...or not...it doesn't matter. The point is this: I cannot even imagine how I would have felt if my sister had filmed me in that most private family matter and showed it to all of her friends, who showed all their friends, who showed all my friends, who showed all their parents, who showed their kids' teachers, who showed their kids, who showed the baseball team, who showed...everyone. It pains me to think about how that child will feel when he sees the video posted publicly, or when he reads those damaging comments. He may have already been depressed or suicidal or even homicidal! The work he may have done in therapy could begin to unravel and the circumstances that put him there in the first place could destroy him further. All b/c of a video that was shared over 1.7 Million times. Childhood is hard and kids are mean enough already; why the hell are grown ups liking, sharing and commenting on that video too??? This particular video originated from a sight that exploits "shocking fights." Really? That leads me to my next point.
I also feel very strongly against posting/sharing/liking cell phone videos of fights or violence. Come on, people. Please. Why give them more air time than they are worth? If you are not posting in an effort to help the victim find his attacker, watching it and commenting about what an ass-beating it was won't help stop the violence in our world. It only serves to promote violence as a form of entertainment. Do we really not have enough to do that we have to Google "shocking fights" to be entertained??? (For another quick post related to this particular topic, click here.)
Moving on...
I have always felt bad for the unknowing person in line in front of you at the post office who bends over to pick up a package while you snap a quick photo of their butt crack. These people are VICTIMS...and this is just plain mean and hurtful to do. Think about it. How would you feel if you came across a pic YOU DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED that was being viewed and insulted by millions of strangers? Not embarrassed by your butt crack? Ok, sure, we all have butts, and even I can see the humor in some silly plumber jokes. But what about this? How would you feel if you came across a picture of yourself with a tampon leaking or a diarrhea stain on your pants or completely hung over and half your clothes off? That happens ALL THE TIME. Teenagers snap pics of their drunk and passed out friends, naked or swimming in their own vomit, and they share them and post them and next thing ya know they end up on some "20 most shocking drunk teens" slideshow. Maybe not, but do you think a teen can EVER recover socially after something like that? Especially if they were already in trouble and heading towards addiction? In order to convince our children not to post those things, we have to stop sharing and liking and prolonging those posts in the first place. Most kids who do crazy stuff in their teens or in college outgrow it at some point, and they don't need video or photo documentation of their most embarrassing moments from their youth.
These days we often see and hear about people paying it forward, like buying Starbucks for the car behind you in the drive-thru, paying for someone's meal anonymously, bringing groceries to a family in need, or leaving the big tip for the struggling waitress. While these are all random acts of kindness that we can measure and understand as valuable, they leave physical evidence of their occurrence, but most people don't do these things to be recognized! They do it from the kindness in their hearts with the hopes they can provide a sense of self worth to the recipient, reminding them that someone truly cares about them in this world. If you believe in doing something nice for someone and not needing anything in return or recognition, then please apply that same idea to social media posts of some of the things I've mentioned in this blog. By not publicly sharing/liking/commenting on a less than classy video or picture of someone, or even more importantly, something with a child that is inappropriate or disturbing, you are declaring "the buck stops here!" I believe you would be performing a most valuable random act of kindness, truly a good deed, by putting out the fire before it spreads even further. Take responsibility for your social media footprint. No physical evidence needed. In fact, the less people it reaches, the better! Social media has so many amazing benefits...from marketing to keeping in touch with family to job hunting and recipe sharing...but ruining people's lives is not one of them. You don't have to solve the world's problems to be part of the solution. Just be kind and helpful and do unto others as you would have done to you...even on Facebook.
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