This one has been building up inside me just waiting to boil over...
By now most of my readers know The McQ Zoo is a sports oriented family. We all race BMX together, and our son wants to play everything else out there. Baby Girl wants to do whatever her big bro is doing. Mr. McQ comes from a long line of athletically talented family members, while I, on the other hand, contribute very little genetically to our offspring in the form of physical skills, but I'VE. GOT. HEART. And folks, that's enough!
What I call "heart" equates to passion, perseverance, team spirit, encouragement, drive, dedication, and commitment. I'm into it ALL THE WAY, every game, race, practice, etc. I show up with my water bottle, focused, my butt in gear and ready to play! But wait! I'm not the coach? I'm not the baseball player? Sure, I might race every now and then, but let's face it, I'm not fast. So why then?
Because I'm "That Mom."
Sometimes "That Mom" gets a bad wrap. She is often misunderstood to be obsessed or controlling or too hovering...but before you judge me, let me tell you what I think of "That Mom" - Sports Edition.
"That Mom" always has her kid's best interests at heart. She wants her kid to win, but more than anything, she wants her kid to believe he CAN win. She shows up b/c being there is more important than anything else she has to do. She cheers loudly, maybe even obnoxiously, b/c her kid would notice if she didn't and wonder if she was okay. She corrects and instructs, and guides and lectures, all firmly and seriously b/c she knows her kid can handle it. SHE KEEPS SCORE! She tells him when he has done great, and she encourages him when he could do better. She tells him there are more important things than winning, but she admits that winning makes it more fun! She signs up to bring snack and she helps out the coaches, and she throws herself into the mix b/c she enjoys it, and she LOVES being a part of it WITH her kid. She gets involved, meets people, asks questions, finds out how things work, so she can explain it to her family and teach them the rules. She may not be a coach this time, but she has been there before, and she will be again. She speaks up, takes chances, makes phone calls and sends emails to organize teams and make sure her kid gets to play b/c HE LOVES TO PLAY...and she loves him.
That "That Mom" is ME. I'm super proud of the role I play in our sports family. When Jack was a 3YO I spent weeks trying to find a 3YO t-ball league, and I finally found one almost 40 minutes away in rush hour traffic with practices on Monday nights at 5PM. I didn't love the coaching of that one, so Mr. McQ and I decided to coach his next team together so that we could actually work on teaching skills and fundamentals to 3 and 4YOs. Volunteering to coach is a HUGE time commitment, but it was worth every minute. The next spring I took Jack to a BMX clinic and coaxed him into his first race, against his will, yes, but totally knowing he could do it, and now he is #4 in the state in his age/class in his FIRST year of BMX racing. His next t-ball team was awesome and embraced me inserting myself so kindly, that I reached out to the coaches after the season was over to find a way to keep the team together for their first season of real baseball. Here we are now, with the same coaches and 6 of the original team, arguably the best team in Shetland 5U. And just tonight I pleaded with the YMCA sports coordinator to accept Jack into a 6-7YO Basketball league since the Kindergarten one at Mt. Bethel was all full, and yes, I was able to convince them to let him "play up."
These are the kinds of things that "That Mom" does. Maybe not the "That Mom" that you are or the "That Mom" that she is, but the"That Mom" that I am is exactly the "That Mom" above.
Ultimately, all moms are "That Mom" behind the scenes. We all have our areas of expertise and things we like to contribute to the most, and we all shuffle our kids to and from and everywhere in between. We stay up late for homework and skip baths and eat McDonald's and Chik-Fil-A way too often. We wash uniforms in the middle of the night and buy new cleats on the way to practice. We pump up tires and pack up coolers, and we write check after check after check after check. Then we cash in on the joy that is watching our kids PLAY. We cheer from the sideline, or maybe from the finish line, and yes, I might cheer too loudly...but that's just the "That Mom" that I am.
And I promise, for my kids, not to change.
I also promise to teach my kids good sportsmanship. I promise to genuinely congratulate their opponents, and I promise to treat each coach, player, participant and parent with respect. I promise to fully understand and relay the message of winning isn't everything while also implementing the concept of practice to improve. I promise to lead by example, be honest and truthful, and never allow cheating. I promise to teach my kids about commitment and what it means to be a team player. I promise to promote optimism and a positive attitude. I promise to instill a sense of both pride and humility in them for their craft. And ultimately, I promise to learn about what they love, b/c I love them.
And being "That Mom" in sports works for me. It works for us. I've tried to be "That Mom" in other areas, like crafting or event planning, but there are way better suited "That Moms" out there for that, and I'm grateful to them. Being any kind of mom is hard; we all wear so many hats, but I feel most comfortable in my element as "That Mom" - Sports Edition.
Being called "That Mom" is often not meant as a compliment. The jokes can be hurtful and imply that "That Mom" is over the top, trying too hard or even attention-seeking, but more often than not, if you think someone is "That Mom" it is b/c you noticed them ENJOYING whatever element in which they are most comfortable. The next time someone jokes about being "That Mom," take a minute to find out exactly what kind of "That Mom" she is...and then tell her what kind of "That Mom" you are!
Because we all have it in us to be "That Mom."
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